Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Mothers' Day

Emigration Diary: Mother’s Day

Posted May 14, 2013 by Jenny Foxe in Ramp Specials
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It was Mother’s Day here last Sunday. I saw my children for approximately twenty minutes in the morning, received my cute handmade cards and then I went and worked a double shift in the restaurant on a crazily busy day. Mother’s day is big business here, just like all the other Hallmark Holidays. Everyone in town and their mother seemed to be clamouring for a table in our petite establishment. There are hours of the day that passed in such a whirr of bread baskets, table numbers and skirt steaks that I don’t have any recollection of them at all. And this is my little housewife job, I have a gnawing sense of fear that things are about to get really real.
I have a list an arm long of online coursework to do, assignments to submit and documents I have to gather by June. I am at a disadvantage because I have to sit a multi-subject teaching certification exam that covers such subjects as American history and social studies that I never covered in school not having gone to an American high school or college, so I have to study that too. My children still need to eat nutritious meals and need clean clothes to wear. They need help with their homework and to be brought to the various birthday parties and play dates they are invited to. The training in the summer is six weeks from 9 to 6.30 an hour and a half away from home. I will hardly see them at all in that time. The pool is to be relined and opened this week. Will I ever get to swim in it? George has been constructing a brand new little kitchen, weekend by weekend. At the moment I can’t foresee a time when I will actually get to cook in it. I have no idea what my schedule will look like in September. I just hope I can work out some kind of work/life balance that keeps everyone happy and home life running smoothly.
It seems that if I want the American dream to come true I’m going to have to spread myself very thinly. I am aware that other working mothers juggle this stuff all the time, it is obviously doable if a little overwhelming and I’m confident that I’ll somehow figure it all out but re-entering the rat race to this extent after eight years of being home with the kids is damn scary. This is what I wanted though, isn’t it? This is why I uprooted my family and transplanted them across the Atlantic Ocean. I’m going to do my best to make a go of it with my fingers kept tightly crossed that this is The Right Thing To Do and hey, with a bit of luck and a lot of hard work I may end up with a few more letters after my name and the resources to fund my children to earn a few when their time comes. It gives me confidence that my youngest child draws me cheering under a blue sky. I hope he still sees me like this next year.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Acceptance



Emigration Diary: Acceptance

Posted May 1, 2013 by Jenny Foxe in Ramp Specials
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I was accepted to the NYC Teaching Fellows to train to teach special education. With one refresh of Gmail, I was offered not just a job but a career. I’ve to train in June and find a teaching job in a NY public school by September. I’ll be simultaneously studying for a Masters in Special Education in a CUNY college. It is by no means to be an easy number but I’m hoping it will be very rewarding. In just over a year here I will have a salary I don’t think I would ever have been offered in Ireland.
There are a few things I miss though, probably the biggest one being decent radio. Flicking through the stations here at any given time all I hear is Led Zeppelin, The Eagles, Metallica, Pink Floyd or Pearl Jam. All great bands with great songs but when they’re on constantly on several frequencies they start to grate on the nerves. There are a few Latino and R&B stations too, but I’m not that desperate yet. At home I usually listen to Pandora, which plays exactly the music I want to hear but lacks the companionship live radio gives. I tried using the Irish radio apps but the time difference is too disconcerting. Listening to DJs commiserate with those stuck in home time traffic over lunch or being lulled to sleep while I’m cooking dinner doesn’t work for me. Also, the daily uproars about issues I know and care less and less about makes me feel less like I have radio companions and more like I’m living on a completely different planet.

I spoke to a guy from Dublin who has been here for 25 years. He told me a sad truth about being an expatriate. He said that I will always be a foreigner here. I will be completely accepted and welcomed but I would always be known and thought of as ‘the Irish woman’. He also said that the longer I stay away from Ireland the more foreign I will become there too. The less I will feel like I belong there and I will in effect become nationless. My kids, on the other hand, will be completely American in ten years. At the moment, I still refer to Ireland as ‘back home’. I still make comparisons between prices. I still think in euro and the metric system and centigrade. When I’m driving I sometimes find my left hand searching for a gear stick and even though I ask the attendant for gas it’s because I noticed the car needed petrol. I do feel these subconscious happenings slowly changing. I don’t have to convert Fahrenheit in my head to know if the kids need a jacket or not anymore. I know my weight in pounds, the date with the month first and I can refer to people’s pants without smirking now. I don’t think I’ll ever respond to the word ‘fanny’ with a straight face though. There are some things that just sound plain wrong.
I’m guessing that my new career will speed these changes in me up a lot. There will be whole new worlds of people who simply won’t understand me if I don’t adjust my language and pronunciation accordingly. I’m finding it all very exciting now that I was accepted to the fellowship. I may well be half way down the road to national identity limbo but I certainly feel like I’m in the right place right now.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Bottoms Up

Emigration Diary: Bottoms Up!

Posted April 17, 2013 by Jenny Foxe in Ramp Specials
Olives in Martini Glass
I have been promoted from hostess to waitress. Neither term is politically correct, I know, but it doesn’t seem to matter here. I think the former sounds a lot more glamorous too, but the reality is the latter makes more money. So here I go; movin’ on up.
I don’t think I would have taken a job in a restaurant in Ireland. I worked in a few while I was in college but since then it never would have occurred to me to apply. Even here I consider it temporary. I’m still waiting to hear about the teaching course and another dream position in publishing where I’ve advanced through the initial stages of interviewing, but in the meantime this suits me. It’s local, it works well with my childcare arrangements, I like my colleagues and the regulars and it’s a pleasant place to be.
If you enjoy people-watching, the restaurant/bar business is one to be in. I’ve seen blind dates, date-night dates, custody arguments, people eating with families one day on a date with someone else the next, middle-aged couples getting over amorous at the bar, little old ladies drinking martini glasses full of neat vodka in the middle of the day. It’s a small town, if we don’t know someone’s story or whatever the current gossip about them is, we simply make something up. It’s a fun game.
People here have a noticeably different relationship with alcohol than in Ireland. Plenty of people here have one glass of wine with lunch, or one cocktail at happy hour and then go off about their day. I don’t think I ever experienced people in Ireland drinking cocktails at 3pm who weren’t either still at a bar or home in a sorry state at 10. Bartenders are a lot freer with the measures here too. I found this out the hard way when I drank a lot more than I thought one night and suffered the whole of the next day. I can only imagine what bars in Dublin would be like if publicans were so free with their spirits. It’s not that people don’t get drunk here; they do, and dangerously often drive home. It just seems less messy somehow. Perhaps it’s the attitude, perhaps people just handle drink better, perhaps they know when to stop, perhaps all that is just an illusion. I am always surprised when somebody orders a straight up martini with their sandwich or has a few rum and cokes on a business lunch. I certainly wouldn’t be able to get on with my day if I started drinking spirits at lunchtime. I don’t think I want to try that aspect of this new culture I’m experiencing, I’m not sure it’s safe. I’ll stick to my glass of wine after the kids go to bed, thanks.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Egg Hunting

Emigration Diary: Egg Hunting

Posted April 3, 2013 by Jenny Foxe in Ramp Specials
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Last week was Spring Break. All the kids were off school and college. It was very welcome in our school district for kids and teachers alike, after having missed out on Winter Break because of the unscheduled Hurricane Hallowe’en Holiday back in October. It is called Spring Break here because we do not mention Easter in schools. The actual holiday coincided with the days of Passover. Jewish holidays are all observed by schools in New York. Everyone was back in school on what would be Easter Monday to us. Unfortunately, there is no bank holiday here.
I am unsure why the school doesn’t allow Easter celebrations. To me it is not a religious holiday. It is a celebration of Spring and fertility, hence all the eggs and bunnies. The school may have ignored it, but the town sure didn’t. Egg decorations hung everywhere. Baskets and bunnies were available in every store. Most places even stocked Cadbury Cream Eggs much to our delight. They are actually smaller here, only 34g to the Irish 40g. They fit four into what should be a three pack but at least they taste the same. What wasn’t so easily available was a traditional Easter egg: a large egg in a box with a couple of chocolate bars beside it. I found some online but there was no way was I paying $20 for a small Crunchie egg. My mom bought a few in the famed Myers of Keswick English grocery shop in Manhattan, but they were still extremely expensive compared to what they cost in Ireland and compared to how many regular chocolate bars could be bought for the same price. It was nice to get one each though. I’m saving my Maltesers egg for a chocolate nostalgia moment.
We had our own little egg hunt in the garden and later we went down to the town for the village hunt. The park was filled with little plastic eggs filled with candy. There were hundreds of kids. At 1pm the Mayor let down the rope and said ‘Go!’. Kiddie chaos ensued. Adults wandered around desperately trying to keep track of their children. By 1.01pm the park was completely clear of eggs and the rest of the time was spent by families trying to reunite themselves. Afterwards, there was a series of egg & spoon races. My eldest was awarded the prize in the 6/7 year old boys’ category. Although he wasn’t the first to cross the line, the judge decided that he cheated the least. He was presented with a large chocolate bunny. George maintained that he should have won the parents’ race, but the judge was too distracted by a leggy mom and awarded her the prize.
And so we’re heading into the last trimester of school. I’ve already been getting letters about end of year testing and enrollment for next year. I think it’s official: we survived our first New York winter. Now, where’s my badge?

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The School Science Fair and the Snowy Parade

Emigration Diary: The School Science Fair And The Snowy Parade

Posted March 20, 2013 by Jenny Foxe in Ramp Specials
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After the Valentine’s Day disaster I discovered that in order to avoid any more grade school cultural blunders I should simply take my cues from remembered episodes of The Simpsons. This is what I did last week when confronted with phenomena of The Science Fair.
I was unable to attend the Parent’s Information Evening due to work commitments and so had to make do with a downloaded PDF informing me of nothing more than the required dimensions of the display, the judging criteria, a reminder that it should be the students’ own work and that scientific method must be followed. My second grader was enthusiastic. He had obviously discussed the upcoming fair with the science teacher. That’s what I get for signing him up to Science Club. Despite how cool it sounded, I dissuaded him from the ambitious wind powered contraption he was originally planning. After all, where was he supposed to get indoor wind without a socket for a fan? He settled on a series of experiments on bridges he was to build out of K-Nex. This sounded more reasonable. I bought him a notebook and he set to work. He got his little brother to weigh toy cars to test his structures. It was odd listening to scientific measurements in ounces and inches. The metric system really does make much more sense.
It was interesting watching him work. He started with one structure which collapsed under just a few cars and then added different parts to it until he came up with a structure that would hold all of his cars. Of course two nights before the fair I was presented with pages of scribbled notes and asked to help him write it up properly in his notebook. He was still writing at 10.30pm the night before it was due. He had photos for his display and he planned to bring the final successful bridge as a model. It was only thanks to Twitter that I discovered that the poster board I had supplied wasn’t going to cut it. The display had to stand up by itself. Thankfully, the local stationary store is more familiar with science fairs than I am and stocks reasonably priced cardboard displays for exactly that purpose.
It became apparent at the parents viewing that we had got it right. His project stood up both physically and metaphorically quite well among the others. There was even a fourth grade project quite similar to his. The standard of the projects was excellent. There were plant tropisms, hamster mazes, mentos explosions, dogs’ paw preferences and a myriad of vegetables acting as batteries. Admittedly, I was disappointed not to see a single baking soda volcano. My son won the first prize for second grade. He was thrilled with himself. He even allowed pictures to be taken. We are very proud. He’s to take his entry to the County fair next. Perhaps next year I should let him try whatever wind powered contraption he comes up with.

We headed into New York City to see the parade on St Patrick’s Day. Or actually St Patrick’s Eve, as this was, bizarrely, when the parade was on. The train journey was an eye opener. Dublin absolutely does not have the monopoly on half-dressed sparkly shamrock adorned drunk teenagers. Green knee socks and short shorts with cleavage crushing leprechaun waistcoats was the uniform of choice for the majority. I dread to think of their fate later that day because by the time we arrived in Penn Station it was snowing.
We made our way up by Central Park following the sound of drumming and the trail of green debris and found a decent viewing spot. We saw police bands, firefighter bands, prison warden bands, college bands, Irish Society bands and yet more police bands. It’s remarkable how many members of the emergency services in New York are Irish. We stood for about an hour as the snow fluttered around us. The atmosphere was pleasant, we waved and clapped as the bands passed by. It was pretty cold though. We were wrapped up, but I hadn’t really prepared for snow. My kids were getting bored and starting to shiver and whine too. I suggested we just wait to see a few floats and then go in search of food.
But there were to be no floats or puppets, just marching band after marching band, kilts and flags adding the only colour. I was shocked and a little disappointed. The bands are, of course, impressive, but the biggest St Patrick’s Day parade in the world doesn’t have any floats, puppets or giant heads? As the blizzard worsened and the goosebumps became visible on the drummer girls’ legs we retired in the most Irish American of ways to TGI Fridays where the choice of beer was between green Budweiser and Guinness with a shamrock in the head. No ‘traditional’ Patty’s Day corned beef and cabbage for us; we ordered steak.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Shamrocks, Chivalry and Such Shenanigans

Emigration Diary: Shamrocks, Chivalry and Such Shenanigans

Posted March 6, 2013 by Jenny Foxe in Ramp Specials
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A bad thing happened last week. I got a call to cover a shift and when I arrived I found out that the reason was that my colleague’s house had burned down. No people had been home but the family’s beloved pets and all their belongings had perished in the fire. I watched as the town sprung into action. The fire had happened on Wednesday morning and by Thursday evening three fundraisers had been organised by different local establishments with the first to take place on Friday night. The family were handed gift card after gift card for various different stores by people hoping to make this difficult time even a little bit easier for them. Hundreds of people attended the fundraisers which raised thousands of dollars. The family are still overwhelmed by the sheer amount of kindness shown. I had never expected to find this type of community spirit in New York. It was incredibly touching.
My children, not here much more than a wet weekend, have frequented Central Park, The Lego Store and The Subway System more often than a lot of adults who live here.
This is a small town. It has a population of about 8000 making it similar in size to Thurles or Dunboyne. I have spoken to adults who have lived here or in other nearby towns all their lives who can count the number of times they have been into New York City on one hand, even though it is just over an hour away. My children, not here much more than a wet weekend, have frequented Central Park, The Lego Store and The Subway System more often than a lot of adults who live here. Many people obviously do commute daily on the LIRR or by car but just as many seem to feel no need to leave this scenic, sleepy town for the skyrising, quickstepping, ever moving mass of confusion that is Manhattan. Despite the sea and the parks and the malls, I start to get cabin fever if I stay on Long Island too long, much as I did when I lived in Dublin 15 and didn’t venture into town for months on end. I guess as much as I am able to fit into Suburbia, I’ll always be a city girl at heart.
We’ve decided to take the kids into Manhattan to the parade on the 17th. It’s St Patrick’s Month here in New York. Apparently so that the bagpipers can attend them all and lend some authenticity to the smaller local parades, there is one every Saturday and Sunday in March in different nearby towns. Having previously shunned the Dublin parade with its amazing spectacle of tourists waving their cellphones in the air and the odd head of a tall puppet to attend the much smaller Lucan parade which featured every child in the town cheered on only by their sibling toddlers and grandparents, I’m not sure how this will go. I figure it’s definitely worth doing once though. Judging by the shamrocks and gaudy green tat popping up everywhere from the grocery stores to the sushi restaurants, I may have to make a little bit more of an effort than my usual green ribbon in my hair. Interestingly, any bar staff I’ve spoken to dread St Patrick’s Day more than any other. ‘People just drink way too much and usually fall over or get thrown out for fighting before they even tip.’ Sounds fun doesn’t it? I’m glad I’m not working in the bar that day anyway.
It’s a funny situation to be in, having left Ireland to go somewhere where people often get emotional with longing to visit towns and places I happily waved goodbye to. People hug me and shake my hand when they hear my accent, jubilant that they placed it correctly and that its not actually Scottish, then mildly disappointed when I don’t come from the precise town of their ancestors. Total strangers are constantly trying to hook me up with other Irish families, which although is very nice of them, I feel unnecessary. I live here now. I’ll be ‘the nice Irish girl’ constituent of this small community until I move on. My children say the Pledge of Allegiance to the American flag every day. If I’m to become a teacher or even a citizen, I’ll have to learn it myself. We will wear green and wave flags on St Patrick’s Day just like we always did but that’s about as maudlin for ‘the old country’ that I’ll get. Like many before me, my leprechaun top hat hangs here on the Statue of Liberty now.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Snow, Hearts and Cheeses



Emigration Diary: Snow, Hearts and Cheeses

Posted February 20, 2013 by Jenny Foxe in Ramp Specials
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When it snows in Ireland, it causes mayhem; buses stop running, mail stops being delivered, and people have difficulty getting to work and school. I always thought because Long Island regularly gets a lot of snow that it is well prepared for it. There are thousands of snow ploughs. The roads get gritted nightly in very cold weather and most people have cars or winter tyres that can well handle the snow. It became very apparent with last week’s nor’easter storm, dubbed Nemo, that even well-equipped Long Island can’t handle two feet of snow when it falls altogether over just a few hours.
Driving was impossible during the blizzard. We had what are called white out conditions; it wasn’t possible to see more than a few feet ahead. Cars suddenly became stuck and people were forced to either abandon them or wait in them until they were rescued. Thankfully, we were all able to leave work early, so by the time the blizzard was in full force we were all safely home and warm. The next day was an eye-opener. It looked beautiful outside. The skies were blue and the sun was shining.
The reality of getting anywhere hit us pretty hard though. Our street had been ploughed which meant we could drive on it but only after digging away the mountain of snow that the plough had deposited at the bottom of our drive, as well as the six by two feet that had settled in front and on top of the car. Digging snow, for the record, is a great way of banishing bingo wings.
The smaller snow ploughs were unable to function in that amount of snow and even some of the bigger industrial ones got stuck ploughing the expressway. We managed to get to some nearby hills to take the kids sledding. Now, that is really fun! Except of course for having to drag the sled and sometimes the children on it back up the hill every single time. The school couldn’t open after the weekend because so many roads were still impassable that it wasn’t safe for the school buses. My children were pretty happy about this until they realised that they will now have to lose a scheduled midterm because all of their snow days were used up after the hurricane. Everything is back to normal again now but the snow remains, frozen solid now, everywhere but the roads. Walking anywhere is completely out of the question and I’m really glad I have good boots.

Valentine’s Day is celebrated a bit differently here than in Ireland. It’s not merely a celebration of romantic love between adults, there are Valentine’s cards for friends, siblings, parents, grandparents and children. If you like someone at all you are supposed to declare this with a cardboard pink heart on the day. My kids came home from school with bags full of notes, cards, pencils and stickers from their classmates both male and female. There are a lot of candies and lollipops available in the stores for this purpose but as there is a ban on food-sharing in our school district, parents have to get creative. I felt bad because I hadn’t supplied my children with anything to distribute. How was I to know though? I’m thinking of making some St Patrick ’s Day goody bags for them to give out to their friends to compensate for my latest cultural faux pas.

We also experienced the wonder that is Chuck E Cheese this week. Our Kindergardener was invited to a birthday party there and I let his big brother invite a friend his own age to play with. I was expecting a play centre with climbing structures and slides similar to ones we frequented in Ireland. It was not like that at all.

Chuck E Cheese is Vegas for kiddies. It consists solely of arcade type games; think off-season Bray on steroids with everything at eye level for the vertically challenged. You buy tokens on entry and the kids feed these into machines such as the Winning Streak Wheel and Deal or no Deal in return for tickets. There is no skill or physical exercise involved at all. It merely provides kids with a comprehensive introduction to gambling and slot machines. I was stunned. The tickets can then be exchanged for worthless plastic prizes. None of which are any good.

The birthday celebrant gets to go into a machine like the one in Crystal Maze that shoots out a whole thousand tickets which he can then exchange for a big prize like a colouring set. On the half hour Chuck E comes out and grushies tickets about causing instant wrestling carnage. Then there is cheap ketchup flavoured pizza. The kids had a lot of fun but I found the whole experience upsetting. We won’t be returning there in a hurry. I’ve scratched it completely off my potential birthday party venue regardless of my kids’ yearning for a go in the Ticket Blaster machine.
I expressed my dismay at the set-up to another parent. ‘Welcome to America!’ she smiled wryly. I guess that says it all.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

It is what it is.

Emigration Diary: It Is What It Is


Posted February 6, 2013 by Jenny Foxe in Ramp Specials
Chalkboard with words "back to school"
I had an interview in the city the other day. Well, not so much an interview as a four hour observation of my suitability to be a teacher in NYC. It included role plays, a five minute teaching sample, a maths test, a written test and a group presentation. If they do deem me to be built of the right stuff it looks like a very interesting program. After an intensive period of training over the summer, I will be given support to find a teaching position in a high-need school in NYC. I will then simultaneously teach and study for a Masters in Education in a CUNY college. It sounds like it will be hard work with many tough challenges but potentially very rewarding.
It struck me while I was watching the other candidates’ teaching samples that I wasn’t the only one with an accent. Even people who had been brought up in New York had varying accents, some of them with a foreign lilt. It really was a very diverse bunch of people who had decided to apply to this program that has the overall mission of increasing academic achievement within the city’s more disadvantaged schools. Diverse people from diverse backgrounds, many experts in their fields with absolutely no previous teaching experience. What the selectors made very clear they were looking for was potential, idealism and commitment.
Many years ago, back at the turn of the century, in fact, I applied to do a bridging course in Dublin that would allow me adapt my Arts degree to an Education degree which would allow me teach elementary school in Ireland. I was refused admission to this course on the basis that I was one grade short in the Irish language in my leaving certificate. I wrote a carefully worded letter, outlining all my previous experiences with TEFL, school workshops and afterschool projects and relevant courses that I had already taken and even offered to spend two months in the Gaeltacht before the commencement of the course and to sit the Irish exam again. The same day I posted that letter I mailed a response to an ad for teachers in an international school in the Gulf. About two weeks later, at 9am I got a phonecall from a rather rude lady in the college. ‘What are you doing, writing me letters?’ she shrilled ‘You’re not eligible and that’s that.’ Exactly two hours later, I wiped away my tears to answer the phone to a man with an intriguing foreign accent arranging an interview in the Westbury Hotel for the position in Qatar. I hung up the phone and decided then and there that if they were willing to give me a chance and my own country wasn’t, I would go to wherever it was. I wasn’t planning to teach Geography. That was the first time I emigrated out of Ireland.
Here I am now again. My first excursion away was always temporary. It was a two year contract which I extended to three. I could have stayed longer but I really felt it was time for me to leave. I actually wanted to come here to the US then but I knew it would take a while to get a visa and I wanted to come legally. I wasn’t really counting on the ten year wait but I managed to accumulate some people in those years that I insisted on taking with me. They’re all happily in their routines of school and work here now. I haven’t found it as easy as I thought it would be to break into an exciting career. I’m looking at this program as a big chance.
I may get it I may not. I have other interests I’m exploring here that were repeatedly shot down in Ireland too. I certainly did my best on the day. The thing that stays with me though is that they at least gave me the opportunity to prove myself. As they say here quite a bit, ‘It is what it is.’ which I find a whole lot more comforting and easier to take than a dismissive Irish ‘and that’s that.’

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Tom-ay-to/Tom-ah-to

Emigration Diary: Tom-ay-to/Tom-ah-to


Posted January 23, 2013 by Jenny Foxe in Ramp Specials
Emigration Diary Tomayto Tomahto
We’ve passed the six month mark in the US. It’s really starting to feel like home now. It struck me as I made plans with a friend to go camping that I would still be here in the summer. I’m not here temporarily on vacation like I’ve always been before. I have no flights to arrange to organize the trip. We simply have to choose the dates and pick a park and drive there. It’s also pretty much guaranteed that we’ll get at least some good weather if we do.
It’s hard to imagine the heat of the summer when it is as bracingly cold outside as it is at the moment. I really need to change my phone and my inner thermometer from Celsius to Fahrenheit. I really scared a coffee shop barista when I said it was below zero outside. These are the things I struggle most with. I miss the metric system. I am still unable to estimate how far a mile is; figure out what height my children are or how much weight I put on over Christmas. Some of these issues are more problematic than others. I still get confused about how to write the date every single time I have to. I figure it out, rather morbidly, by thinking of 9/11.
Baysil is an ‘erb.
I am getting to grips with pronunciation and spelling though. I have dropped the ‘u’s from colour, favour and neighbour, ’ized’ most of my ‘ises’ and lost the double ‘l’ from jewellery and travelling. None of that hurt a bit. I can say ‘Baysil is an ‘erb’ with barely a smirk now and I didn’t bat an eyelid when I was asked for an ah-pricot sour the other day. I’m still not entirely clear what exactly I’m supposed to call my handbag. Is it a purse or a pocketbook and if it’s the former, what do I call my purse? My kids correct me constantly for calling underwear ‘pants’ and pants ‘trousers’. I’ve reluctantly started referring to the press as a closet and I avoid speaking the number thirty three in public entirely because of its evil ‘th’ qualities.
We have settled in to the community pretty well. The boys have regular playdates with their schoolmates. There are usually quite a few familiar faces if we walk into a local bar. We know who the most efficient cashiers at the supermarket are. I have someone I return to for eyebrow maintenance and we know which stores stock George’s favourite beer. I think the fact that I’ve been working in the restaurant has helped this transition enormously. Not only have I made friends there who invite me places socially but I have a selection of people to ask about the little cultural things I’m unsure of. How many school fundraiser items am I expected to buy or sell to be considered a good parent? (At least $100 worth.) Am I supposed to give the school bus drivers a Christmas tip? (Yes.) What the hell is an Arnold Palmer? (Half iced tea half lemonade.)
A big test of cultural familiarity is coming up on February 3rd with Super Bowl Sunday. It seems attendance at a party is compulsory. I haven’t a clue though. I’ve half watched a few games but I can’t for the life of me figure out the rules. I even find it difficult to remember what teams play which sports for what states. There’s nothing new there though, I’ve never really followed any sports, I was pretty much as clueless about the European Cup last year. I guess I’ll just do what I usually do and wing it. Smile when everyone cheers and try not to clap when people look devastated. Here, of course, the wings come with buffalo sauce. Bring it on. I have no problem relating to these or the nachos at all.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Out with the Old

Emigration Diary: Out with the Old


Posted January 9, 2013 by Jenny Foxe in Ramp Specials
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I can’t think of another annual chore I do with as much pleasure as the tearing down of the Christmas tree. Despite the merriment it went up with and how lovely Christmas was, I find comfort in reclaiming the corner it occupied and replacing the gaudy fairy lights with an unassuming lamp. I don’t see bareness where the Christmas cards stood, I see lack of clutter and I feel renewed and eager to get started.
How many times have I spoken about getting started though? When we moved here first in July, when the kids started school in September, after we recovered from the storm in November and now again in January because it’s the New Year. So we’ve been here six months and I still feel that I haven’t yet begun. What exactly is it that I feel has to start?
The answer is nothing. One great big moment of life changing epiphany is never going to happen. No fireworks or fanfare is scheduled to proclaim ‘Welcome to Your New Life!’ but slowly and surely things are getting done. George has a job he’s happy in for the most part. The kids are settled in school, have made friends and are getting good reports. I have a job I enjoy although I still want to get a better one. I’ve organised health insurance, doctors and dentists for everyone, I have a regular shopping list and I’ve got my New York driving license. I’ve even made some new friends myself. Our everyday routine is actually fairly similar to what it was in Ireland. It’s almost like we didn’t start a new life at all but simply moved our old lives to a new country.
We have a recording of our five year old last Christmas singing songs by the Christmas Tree. He was only four then and still had a babyish look about him. It was only watching it this year I noticed what a strong North Dublin accent he had. We recorded him singing the same songs this year and the Dub is mostly gone. He no longer pronounces ‘right’ as ‘roitsh’. Now it’s ‘riyte’. This doesn’t upset me in the least. When mine talk among other children their Irish accents are still perceptible. I wonder for how much longer. I’m working on building up the courage to record myself to see if my accent is changing at all. I can tell it hasn’t disappeared completely because it’s commented on so often, you know, by ‘Irish’ people.
My accent is quite the conversation starter in the restaurant where I work. Sometimes I feel like I should be getting commission from Bord Fáilte.
In fact, my accent is quite the conversation starter in the restaurant where I work. Many customers would love to visit or revisit Ireland. There was a point on New Year’s Eve when I stood discussing the merits of various Irish golf courses I’d never set foot in while precariously balancing a stack of dirty glasses on a tray. Sometimes I feel like I should be getting commission from Bord Fáilte.
I mentioned The Gathering to a few people who expressed interest in making the trip. ‘Well, if you’re going to go, 2013 is the year to do it! The whole year is to be a celebration welcoming home Irish emigrants of all generations’. That’s where I ran out of steam though. It would be nice if I had some incentive to throw in: ‘There are discounts on all the historical sites and museums.’ No. ‘There are deals on hire cars or bus tours if you mention the words The Gathering’ Not at all. ‘There are special hotel room rates if you produce a postcard invitation.’ None of that. So, instead, when I was asked what the point of The Gathering is I had to answer humbly but honestly ‘Oh, I guess they’re trying to increase tourism, get people to spend money, improve the economy’ Which led to the same old conversation about negative equity, ghost estates, NAMA and run down shopping malls and with that the notion of romantic Ireland was dead and gone to me. Again.
I have actually been invited home to visit this year. I don’t think I can go though. There are many people I’d really love to see but I’d prefer if they’d all come here instead. I’m just not ready to go back yet. I’m not sure what exactly it is that I’m afraid of but the feeling of apprehension I get when I think of setting foot on Irish soil is similar to that of an impending 20 year school reunion. What is that I wonder? Perhaps it’s just that to me, with the unceremonious tossing out of the tree, the symbol of celebration of the end of the old year, 2012, the year emblazoned on every single form of acceptable ID I now possess, it’s a time to keep moving forward. Now is not the time to revisit and reminisce because the future path is still too unclear. I can’t look back yet because for now, while it’s foggy and uphill, I’ve got to keep looking where I’m going. At least, with the Christmas clutter cleared, I’m not stepping on pine needles on my way.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The week before Christmas

Emigration Diary: The Week Before Christmas


Posted December 19, 2012 by Jenny Foxe in Ramp Specials
christmastree
There’s not much time left till Christmas. This will be our first living in the United States of America. I bought a special ornament for our tree to commemorate it, a cute little penguin sitting on a ball of wool with 2012 emblazoned across his own woolly jumper. We chose a tree, brought it home and my kids excitedly helped me decorate it. I had brought a small box of the more special Christmas ornaments with us from Ireland and we hung these among the new ones, cute and sparkly reminders of all our Christmases past.
It has been a tough and confusing weekend for a lot of people in America. I was in work on Friday when I first started to see reports of the horrific incident in Newtown. Living on the North Shore of Long Island, Connecticut is directly across the water. We have clientele who often sail across on their boats for day trips, others who work on Long Island but live in Connecticut. It’s commuting distance away. It could just as easily have been my children’s school. I had an overwhelming urge to collect them immediately and when I finally could get to them I held them tight and cried.

What happened in Sandy Hook Elementary school is unfathomably horrific and tragic and it has affected people deeply. Many people, me included, are finding that even thinking about those children and their poor parents brings tears to the eyes, every time. People are trying not to think about it or talk about it but it seems it can’t be helped. As parcels arrive that I’ve ordered from Amazon, I wonder have those parents to suffer having toys arrive all this week, toys they ordered to make bright young eyes sparkle with excitement, eyes that will senselessly shine no more.
As President Obama addressed the people of Newport on Sunday, I saw Christmas parties in the restaurant go silent as all watched eagerly, waiting for some words of comfort, looking to their leader to make some sense of it, explain it to them somehow, give it some reason or justification, anything to make them stop feeling as they are. Even those who were vocal in voting against him looked to the President to fix it. Of course, he can’t. He spoke well, from the heart and emotionally and he implied he’d do everything in his power to stop it ever happening again but he can’t undo the tragedy. Nobody can. When he had finished reciting the names of the victims, the diners wiped their tears and continued with their festivities. It seems callous but what else can we do right now? As sad as this makes us, we have to go on. We have to make Christmas happy for those who are left. My children’s school has decided not to have a minute’s silence for the victims of Sandy Hook. They don’t want our small children to spend a whole minute reflecting that this could easily have been them. We can’t have our children fearful for their safety in their schools, at the cinema, or in shopping malls. They have got to go on believing that a bad man will not just turn up one day and shoot everyone; it is up to us adults to figure out how to make that the truth.
Personally, I’ve been forced to look at the question whether I have put my children at a bigger risk of something like this happening to them by moving them to the United States. There have been four mass shootings of innocent people just going about their business since we moved here. I’m not aware of any ever in Ireland.
It’s a shame that we’ll have to teach our children that if someone suddenly appears in their life bearing weapons it may not be someone dressed up for a joke and that they should hide or run or play dead.
I struggled with this for a while but ultimately came to the conclusion that the opportunities outweigh the risks. Ireland isn’t without its own risks. Guns may be illegal but living in West Dublin, gang-related shootings were disturbingly common. My own good friend witnessed a violent murder in the estate next to mine, shortly after we moved away while walking her dog. It’s a shame that we’ll have to teach our children that if someone suddenly appears in their life bearing weapons it may not be someone dressed up for a joke and that they should hide or run or play dead. It’s a shame our children need to be prepared for bad people in the world but I think that’s a worldwide problem and it isn’t really new. I spent many years as a child living with the constant threat of the ‘stranger in a car’. I guess part of being a child is learning to be as prepared as possible for the bad guys in the world and as parents we just have to hope that ours never meet one.
But, there’s not much time left till Christmas and without forgetting those we’ve lost this year, I’m going to do my best to make it a happy one. I’ll take the children to see Santa in Macy’s and we’ll watch the ice skaters in the Rockefeller Center. We’ll eat turkey and too much chocolate and play some silly games. I’m going to do those crafts I’ve been putting off and bake those sugar cookies they’ve been after. I’ll make another attempt at frosting a gingerbread house even after last year’s sticky, messy disaster. Laws and security policies may well change after recent events and I really hope they do but what has changed most for me is that I’ve realized again how lucky I am to have two healthy, lively children and it’s up to me to do the best I can to make their memories of their childhoods as pleasant as possible.
Merry Christmas – or as I’ve learned to say now that I speak American – Happy Holidays.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Advent Adventures

Emigration Diary: Advent Adventures


Posted December 5, 2012 by Jenny Foxe in Ramp Specials
photo (10)
No sooner had we thrown out the leftover turkey from Thanksgiving than we started decorating for Christmas. It’s a good two weeks earlier than I would’ve done in Ireland but we kept it simple. We merely festooned the roof in perfectly tasteful icicle lights and put a couple of glowing reindeer in the garden. Oh…and a Santa and some tin soldiers, perhaps a few candycanes. Nothing ostentatious, I swear. We vetoed the giant blow up Spongebob in a Santa hat requested by the kids. We’ve opened the first few days of our chocolate advent calendars and lit the first of four Sunday candles in our wreath. We’ll leave the tree for a couple of weeks because I don’t want to be in possession of a dried out, pineless twig by Christmas.
I was talked into starting a new Christmas tradition by a co-worker: Elf On The Shelf. Pickle is the name my children gave to the elf that came to live with us. He watches and listens to them all day long and when night comes he flies off to Santa to report what he sees and hears, whether they’ve been naughty or nice, and to convey any Christmas wishes. Every morning they have to search the house to see where he flew back to. He could be on a shelf or a table, propped behind a curtain rail or sitting on a globe, but he’s in a different place every day. Obviously, romanced by the cuteness and being such a sucker for any kind of Christmas magic, I didn’t think this through properly before I introduced it. I have woken a few times already at 3am thinking ‘Agh –the elf’ and if I can’t talk George into it, have to stumble around in the dark looking for a new thrilling place for him to land and spend the next day. The little one in particular loves it though. He’s even given him beautifully coloured pictures and love letters to take with him to Santa in an effort to get in the big man’s good books.

I finally managed to sort us all out with health insurance. Here, it is required by the school that children have a ‘well-being’ check-up at least once a year. They checked everything; blood, urine, spine, eyes, ears, height, weight – the works. I am pleased to report that my children are perfectly healthy and have been ‘cleared for contact sports’. The doctor was more than a little surprised when I answered ‘Er… at 9 months’ to when they had their last check-ups. Preventative medicine is compulsory here. The idea of only going to the doctor when you are sick is unheard of. The insurance companies want to know what they are covering. I’ve been for one too. I got a bit of a scare when she suddenly hooked me up to an EKG machine right then and there. I’d been watching American Horror Story: Asylum the night before and all the stickers and clips all over me terrified me almost as much as the nurse’s tut and frown did. It turns out my heart beats just fine though and I don’t think she actually went near my frontal lobe.
Good job, because I’ll need it. Coming up over the next week I have my New York State driving test, two parent/teacher meetings and finally an interview for a proper job in the city. Exciting times! Perhaps the goal I had of being sorted out by Christmas is a possibility after all. I think I’ll do some whispering to Pickle the Elf myself.

Advent Adventures

Emigration Diary: Advent Adventures


Posted December 5, 2012 by Jenny Foxe in Ramp Specials
photo (10)
No sooner had we thrown out the leftover turkey from Thanksgiving than we started decorating for Christmas. It’s a good two weeks earlier than I would’ve done in Ireland but we kept it simple. We merely festooned the roof in perfectly tasteful icicle lights and put a couple of glowing reindeer in the garden. Oh…and a Santa and some tin soldiers, perhaps a few candycanes. Nothing ostentatious, I swear. We vetoed the giant blow up Spongebob in a Santa hat requested by the kids. We’ve opened the first few days of our chocolate advent calendars and lit the first of four Sunday candles in our wreath. We’ll leave the tree for a couple of weeks because I don’t want to be in possession of a dried out, pineless twig by Christmas.
I was talked into starting a new Christmas tradition by a co-worker: Elf On The Shelf. Pickle is the name my children gave to the elf that came to live with us. He watches and listens to them all day long and when night comes he flies off to Santa to report what he sees and hears, whether they’ve been naughty or nice, and to convey any Christmas wishes. Every morning they have to search the house to see where he flew back to. He could be on a shelf or a table, propped behind a curtain rail or sitting on a globe, but he’s in a different place every day. Obviously, romanced by the cuteness and being such a sucker for any kind of Christmas magic, I didn’t think this through properly before I introduced it. I have woken a few times already at 3am thinking ‘Agh –the elf’ and if I can’t talk George into it, have to stumble around in the dark looking for a new thrilling place for him to land and spend the next day. The little one in particular loves it though. He’s even given him beautifully coloured pictures and love letters to take with him to Santa in an effort to get in the big man’s good books.

I finally managed to sort us all out with health insurance. Here, it is required by the school that children have a ‘well-being’ check-up at least once a year. They checked everything; blood, urine, spine, eyes, ears, height, weight – the works. I am pleased to report that my children are perfectly healthy and have been ‘cleared for contact sports’. The doctor was more than a little surprised when I answered ‘Er… at 9 months’ to when they had their last check-ups. Preventative medicine is compulsory here. The idea of only going to the doctor when you are sick is unheard of. The insurance companies want to know what they are covering. I’ve been for one too. I got a bit of a scare when she suddenly hooked me up to an EKG machine right then and there. I’d been watching American Horror Story: Asylum the night before and all the stickers and clips all over me terrified me almost as much as the nurse’s tut and frown did. It turns out my heart beats just fine though and I don’t think she actually went near my frontal lobe.
Good job, because I’ll need it. Coming up over the next week I have my New York State driving test, two parent/teacher meetings and finally an interview for a proper job in the city. Exciting times! Perhaps the goal I had of being sorted out by Christmas is a possibility after all. I think I’ll do some whispering to Pickle the Elf myself.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Trading Traditions



Emigration Diary: Trading Traditions


Posted November 21, 2012 by Jenny Foxe in Ramp Specials
piratesnowman
We’ve fallen back into the routine of our new normality since the hurricane. We had another storm since my last post, a nor’easter that grounded flights, halted public transport and covered the tri-state area with about 6 inches of snow in the space of a few hours. I almost cried when our power went off again so soon. Thankfully, it came back after only an hour. It took George and my mom hours to get home from work because of delays and cancellations with the trains. Alone with the kids in the cold and dark, I managed to finish cooking a stew on the trusty old camping stove and even light a fire. I felt like Bear Grylls.
The kids had another day off school after being back only one day since Sandy. The schools have already used up all of their snow days and it’s still only November. We tested the kids’ new snow boots and built a pirate snowman. His hat perched on a lump of melting ice became the only evidence of the snowstorm by the following day. The sun came out and we were finally cut a weather break. My five year old declared ‘Yesterday was Winter but now It’s Fall again!’ I certainly never expected extreme weather conditions, sustained power loss and gas rationing when I moved to New York; to think one of the reasons I wanted to leave Ireland was the weather! Since this week, it is now possible to get gas without lining up for hours or having to check if your registration plate is odd or even to match the date where we are. There is still rationing in Manhattan and some other places. The storm debris from Sandy is slowly being removed from outside people’s houses and charities are out in force collecting food and money for families on the South Shore that have lost their homes and livelihoods.

The majority of people I follow on Twitter are still in Ireland. I watched the preceding arguments and saw the shockingly low turnout for the Children’s Rights referendum and I read the horrific story of Savita Halappanavar and witnessed the resulting outrage and amazingly high turnout for the vigils and protests in her name. Reading tweets makes me feel both very close and very far away. Of course, I have strong opinions on both of these issues. If I was there I would probably have been extremely vocal on them, but I am not, I am here, and I wonder if I have given up the right to have more than a passing interest in them. I did not rush back to Ireland to use my vote and I did not take part in any vigil demanding belated legislation, nor do I plan to for any issues in the future. Irish law doesn’t directly affect me anymore. It leaves me feeling a little bit lost. We are still Irish citizens, but my family is now permanently resident in a land which has its own children’s and healthcare laws which vary widely from state to state. I am not even fully familiar with the laws in my own county yet. No doubt bugbears will catch up with me in time and I’ll end up passionately standing up for something or other. I did sign a petition to keep the local post office open. I guess that’s a start.
Later this week is our first Thanksgiving. I’m looking forward embracing this new tradition. It’s like Christmas without the presents; an early taste of turkey and cranberry sauce. Thanksgiving is multi-denominational and observed by all. We have a lot to be thankful for on this first celebration. Not least that we’ve survived over four months here now and we’re still pretty sure we did the right thing. We wouldn’t have been happy with a smooth ride, would we? I’m thankful that the kids have settled so well into their new lives and I’m thankful to have had the support of my family and to have been made to feel so welcome. I know we’ve had ups and downs but there’s something to be said for taking the time to focus on the good things even if it is only once a year. I’m also excited to embrace another great American tradition this week – Black Friday. Well – I was never going to let a shopping day pass me by and we do need a new TV.  So, in the spirit of the week, happy Thanksgiving Day from all of us in the US whether you celebrate it or not and thank you all for still reading.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Powerless

Emigration Diary: Powerless


Posted November 7, 2012 by Jenny Foxe in Ramp Specials
treeoncar
I was all set with a post describing how our Hallowe’en celebrations were going last week. I was aware of the impending Frankenstorm being whipped up at sea and the damage it had done in the Caribbean but having been here through quite a few media-frenzied storm watches that came to not much more than a bit of wind and rain, I wasn’t too concerned.
When we learned it was highly likely that there would be power outages on Long Island, we did thankfully take some precautions. We filled the cars up with gas and got in some camping gas, non-perishable food and plenty of batteries and flashlights. Our water is pumped from a well and requires power to run so we filled the baths up with water, just in case. We had notification that school was to be closed on Monday and Tuesday.
At about 2pm the curiosity got the better of us and we headed to a nearby beach to look at the waves. We were expecting Sandy to hit at about 8pm. We are on the North Shore of Long Island so this was not as dangerous as it sounds. The only real risk we were taking was that we could be hit by a falling tree. The storm surge on this side of the island wasn’t expected until about 10pm. In the village they had boarded up windows and lined their doorways with sandbags. It was a full moon so the tide was to be very high and the village regularly suffers from flash flooding anyway. What we saw from the beach was scary. At low tide, the waves were already about 8 feet high, the water was crashing against houses in Asharoken. At Crab Meadow beach there was so much sand being blasted by the wind that a second or two outside the car was the most efficient exfoliation treatment I’ve ever experienced. The playground fence waved in the air like a ribbon. A little subdued by the power Mother Nature was exhibiting, we went home to safety.

It was George’s birthday and as he is not a lover of birthday cake I had been soaking raisins in tea to make a brack. I mixed up the rest of the ingredients and preheated the oven. The power flickered. I sighed and reset the oven. It flickered again. The kids came upstairs, indignant that there was something wrong with the TV. The cable was resetting when it went off again. This time it stayed off for a few minutes. We looked around for candles. The power came back for another minute then went off and stayed off. I wrapped up the brack mixture and figured I could bake it the next day. Meanwhile, it was getting pretty windy.
We stepped outside to try to charge phones in the car. The sky flickered an eerie blue colour. It wasn’t quite like lightning; we wondered if it was power lines or substations. High above us the oak and chestnut trees swayed like daffodils in the breeze. Where we stood was sheltered. I heard an ominous creak from a neighbour’s tree and we went back inside. George set up the camping stove in the garage and steamed some mussels I’d had in the freezer and made some fried garlic bread. We had thought to get wine and beer in. With the open fire lit, good food and the weather staying outside it was actually a rather pleasant evening.
On Tuesday, I went out to get some last minute supplies for the Hallowe’en party I was to host in the 2nd Grade classroom. Still without power, I hadn’t seen or heard any news. This is America though, right? Of course Party City was going to be open. It was the day before Hallowe’en, their busiest day of the year. All the traffic lights were out. One of the scariest things I’ve ever done was to turn left onto a dual carriageway with no traffic lights. On the radio it said to treat broken traffic lights like a four way stop sign. I seemed to be the only one doing this.
Party City was closed. So was nearly everywhere else. I walked into a grocery store that was lit by one light, the frozen aisles taped off and the lone teller adding up bills with a calculator. I bought some Hallowe’en candy and activity books for the kids. The extent of the damage began to become clear to me as I passed hundreds of uprooted trees, lying across electricity cables or resting on people’s roofs. We were lucky, our garden was just ankle-deep in leaves and twigs. We raked up 20 bags. George cut down a few broken branches and dead trees. All around the buzzing of chainsaws could be heard.

We heard that the village still had power and hadn’t suffered too much damage. The water had apparently come up and gone back down, flooding only as much as it ever had. Restaurants were open and very busy. After some barbecued salmon, we walked down with all the phones and chargers. We were welcomed by notices like this:

Wednesday was Hallowe’en. Northport village usually does what they call Safe Hallowe’en where the local shops and small businesses give out candy to costumed kids in broad daylight. I had thought the fact that it wasn’t considered safe for children to go trick or treating in their own neighbourhood kind of sad but this year it was absolutely not safe. Downed wires dangled everywhere. I walked down with Thor and Captain Hook and they collected quite a bit of booty. George took them around the immediate neighbourhood afterwards and they got even more.
As the week ended, the temperature started to drop. We got warnings of snow. Shops sold out of batteries. Gas stations sold out of gas. We lined up for ages to get tables in restaurants. Boiling water on the camping stove to wash dishes or ourselves became tedious. Constantly filling the cistern from the bathwater with a bucket was a pain. Desperately trying to conserve phone charge but still searching Twitter for information and updates was stressful. I had a constant feeling of living in the dark.
There were some highlights of course. George began putting granite rocks in the fire which we would wrap in a towel to warm our bed. I grew quite fond of my pet rock. We ate extremely well, lots of restaurant food and barbecues. The restaurant I work in was so busy I got extra shifts and lots of tips. As I stacked firewood with my kids I realised people rent logcabins to pay for these experiences.
Watching the news today, now that we’ve finally got our power back, I realise how lucky we were. We sustained no damage or injuries and we had the facilities to stay warm and well fed. We may have been 148 hours without power or running water but we always had somewhere safe and dry to live. It was an inconvenience not a disaster.
It’s not completely over yet. School remains closed for another few days as there are no safe routes for school buses. Queues for gas still extend for miles. Outside every home there are bags of leaves and chopped branches as people attempt to clean up and return to normality. Slowly, public transport is beginning to run to schedule and people are returning to work. I see that for thousands of people not very far away that this is not yet the case. Some people’s houses are ruined, some people’s livelihoods, some lost family and friends. Many remain in shelters requiring food and blankets. Snow is still forecast and thousands are still without heat. It will take a lot more time and help for some to recover. I never would have thought this kind of thing could happen in New York, the city that never sleeps. It was brought to a complete standstill for almost a week. Sandy was a stark reminder of how vulnerable we really are and I never again will take a hot shower for granted.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

After The Honeymoon

Originally written for Ramp.ie as part of the Emigration Diary series
They say after about three months the honeymoon phase of culture shock ends and the negotiation phase begins. This is apparently when the differences between the old and new cultures become irritating and annoying and many people experience frustration and anxiety while yearning for the familiarity of their old society. Some people withdraw into themselves, some become reliant on others from their own culture, some adopt a hostile, superior attitude and others become suspicious of the cleanliness or safety of their host environment. Thanks, Wikipedia, for reminding me what predictable nutters we all are.
The best thing, it seems, about this negotiation phase or process is that it ends. It’s the make-it-there-or-make-a-legger-for-it period. It lasts about another three months until the adjustment phase begins or, in other words, we get used to the differences and accept them. Hmm… in just under two weeks we will have been here exactly three months. We are four people who have a tendency to react very differently to stimuli. It sounds like this ride may be about to get bumpier.
Still in the Honeymoon period, I guess, George and I took a childfree stroll around NYC last week. We started with Sunday brunch at an outside table on Union Square; mimosas and eggs Benedict, beer and steak and eggs. Delicious. Then we walked down The High Line, a disused elevated freight railway line above Manhattan’s West Side that has been turned into a spectacular public park. This brought us to the Meatpacking District where a rather cool Urban Space market was set up. After a thorough perusal, we took the subway back uptown to Central Park. It was International Peace day as it turned out and we stopped and watched some gospel singers on the bandstand for a while. At Bethesda Fountain, we were amused by no less than six wedding parties posing among the tourists, their photographers desperately trying to capture a scene of newly wedded bliss while the brides threw sidelong comparison glances at each other’s dresses. Afterwards we found a French patisserie where we stopped for tea and cake. All in all, it was a lovely day and it was really good for me to get off the island and spend some time mooching about in the city.
Our life is far from that glamorous on a daily basis. George is working long hours during the week and I work a few shifts in a restaurant at the weekend. There’s not a lot of time or money for wandering about enjoying the sights at the moment and at times we both get irritable. The kids both seem very happy though. They are enjoying school and the afterschool program they are in. At first, I thought it was too long a day for them but I soon realized that they have both made good friends there and spend the couple of hours running about outside playing soccer and tag, followed by homework and quieter indoor games. The few days they have had off they were complaining that they were bored and bugging me to invite their friends around for a playdate. Yes, they use that word.
I think, at the moment, it is not the differences between our old life and our new life that we are finding frustrating but the similarities. The humdrum of making lunches, cooking dinners, loading the dishwasher and doing laundry was not what I imagined when I envisaged our move to New York. I don’t think George imagined himself working very long hours for not enough money either. The big difference here, and it’s the one I’m clinging on to, is that it feels transient. It doesn’t feel like this is it. Already, the hard work is beginning to be rewarded. Opportunities are arising. It feels like upward mobility is not only a possibility but a probability. It’s still very early days in the grand scheme of things. We just have to negotiate the next three months.

Moo-ving In

It was Cow Harbor Day on Sunday. This is a traditional annual festival held in Northport, where we live now, which was once known as Great Cow Harbor because cows used to graze in fields by the waterfront. Thousands of people filled the sunny, waterfront village for a parade and a funfair, loads of live music, antique cars, impressive motorbikes and the local restaurants had grills and hot dog stands out on the sidewalk to feed the crowds.

 I love the place names here on Long Island. We’ve got the Jericho Turnpike which is lined with strip malls where you can buy absolutely anything. My favorite beach is in Sunken Meadow State Park. Our local IKEA is in Hicksville. We’re a few train stops from Amityville and I do most of my clothes shopping in Walt Whitman Mall, on the Walt Whitman Road, near the birthplace of the poet. We often take a stroll on the beach at Little Neck Bay, which borders Great Neck, the backdrop for F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby. We’re also five minutes down the road from the Vanderbilt Museum which houses the rather obscure collections of William K Vanderbilt II in his mansion on his former estate, Eagle’s Nest. It’s interesting and fun getting to know the local history. I guess that’s one of the advantages about moving somewhere new – no matter where you go.

 My kids have started school and seem to be settling in well. My second grader is already using terms like ‘pop quiz’ (nothing to do with music) and ‘Show and Tell’. Football has very quickly become ‘soccer’. My Kindergartner goes in everyday with his ‘tote bag’ and ‘erases’ things when he makes a mistake. It is certainly not taking them long to pick up the lingo. I needn’t have worried about them fitting in. They seem to be doing just fine. They both go to afterschool club which they really seem to enjoy and have made loads of new friends. They’ve been off part of this week for Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. I was surprised, to be honest, that schools in New York were off for Jewish holidays, but there you go.

 In the meantime, George commutes into the city to work. Although I don’t envy him the 70 minute train journey each way every day, he does seem to be meeting some glamorous people and visiting some even more glamorous places. He came home with some expensive men’s product last week. Someone had given it to him as a tip for installing blinds in her apartment. Is that the etiquette? I’d love to see the face of a UPC technician in Dublin if someone offered them male moisturizer for fixing their broadband. I think I’ll stick with handing over an extra couple of bucks for now. See? I’ve got the lingo going on too!

 There are a couple of things I am finding it hard to get used to though. Turning right on a red light makes me feel downright rebellious every single time, but I’m beeped at ferociously if I don’t. I can live with the guy in the gas station filling my car for me while I sit there. I’m not really comfortable with cooking here yet. Chicken breasts seem outrageously large and there are sneaky artificial colorings and flavorings in quite a lot of products. There is quite a selection of healthier goods available. It’s just a case of me getting used to what’s good and what’s not and figuring out the best places to buy stuff. The choice is certainly available. It’s sometimes overwhelming. I’ve been working my way through my American cookbook for all the things I wanted to make before but couldn’t easily find the ingredients in Ireland. It always seems to be the case that if one child likes something the other doesn’t but that was the same in Ireland. No doubt we’ll fall into some kind of meal routine soon, even if it means each child only gets fed every second day. So we really live here now. It’s starting to feel like we’re more involved in society, not merely vacationing observers. We’ve certainly been made to feel very welcome. I wonder how long it’ll be before we start to consider ourselves Irish-American? I don’t think it will take the children long at all, probably the adults a little longer. Maybe next year, we’ll even take part in the Cow Harbor Day parade ourselves.

Are You Ready Boots?

Originally written for Ramp.ie as part of the Emigration Diary series
September is rolling in. I’ve always thought of September as the beginning of the new year. Maybe it’s because it’s my birth month, maybe because of the years spent in school, university and back at school as a teacher but it seems to me that autumn is a far better time to start something new than deep in the middle of winter. It’s a great time to buy new boots and break them in before the going gets icy. I’ve got some already. I bought them in an off-season sale in July. Having put nearly all my other boots in a donation bin in Ireland, somehow I doubt they’ll be the only boots I buy this year.
boots2Here in New York, the weather is still summery. I’m writing this sitting on the deck wearing shorts and sandals. Not at all boot weather yet – it’s 27° – but there are a few tell-tale signs of fall. The tops of some trees have turned red and yellow and there are a couple of leaves scattered around me. The summer vacationers have all gone home now. The kids start school this week. I guess they’ll be needing new boots soon.
We’ve had a little tour of the school and met the principal. It is her first year in the school so my kids won’t be the only newbies. I’ve already been talked into attending my first PTA meeting. Although we have the teachers’ names, we haven’t met them yet. My youngest is starting big school for the first time and he is more than a little excited. I’m quite nervous for my eldest going into 2nd grade. He doesn’t even want me to drive him on the first day. He’ll be getting on a bus with a load of strange kids and will have to figure out the dos and don’ts by himself. Do stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. Don’t ask your teacher for a rubber. I’m sure he’ll be fine though. He’s still young enough that it shouldn’t be too difficult for him to fit in.
In other news, I got myself a job. Not quite the glamourous city position I fancy myself in, I’ll be a hostess in a local restaurant. Still, the hours suit me and the money’s alright and it seems like a nice, friendly place to work. The food is really good too. I can continue writing and rewriting my resume and presumably I’ll pick up something more stressful in time. I’m happy enough to stay local at the moment. You never know, my children may decide they need me after all.
So the summer’s drawing to a close and I guess that means we’ve lasted here a season. It’s had its ups and downs, adjustments and shocks. We by no means walked off the plane and into an American Dream. We’ve discovered that we’re going to have to work hard and make certain sacrifices to get to where we want to be but we do still seem to have a good chance of getting there. I never really felt that I had that chance in Ireland. No matter how hard I tried, doors seemed to slam in my face. I know it’s still early days but I haven’t felt as shut out of anything here. I also have a much greater choice of new boots. All that’s left to do now is start walking.