Take two carrots...

Take two carrots, one bog standard from a grocery store and one covered with muck from a pesticide free farm, leave them together for a week or two, checking them every couple of days. The results: not surprisingly both will have rotted but how differently. The one from the farm will have rotted in patches from the outside in. After a few days you could probably just cut the rotted bits off and use the rest of the vegetable. The grocery store carrot will have rotted from the inside out. It probably looks pristinely orange on the outside for longer but the inside turns to pulp. I don't know about anyone else but this gives me an icky feeling.

The recent UK FSA Organic review report http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/organicreviewreport.pdf tested organic and non-organic vegetables for their nutritional content only. As it clearly states it did not set out to review the potential health impacts of contaminants such as pesticide and fungicide. Surely it is to avoid these poisons that most people who do buy organic?

If a pesticide will burn your skin what is it doing to your stomach, constantly, in small quantities, over years? There have been many studies showing that most samples of human breastmilk contain pesticides. http://www.dioxins.com/pdf/biological/biological06.pdf being just one of them. Just to be clear though - even contaminated breastmilk is still a hundred thousand times better for your baby than formula. Due to the nature of living life and the human being's amazing power of survival despite the odds, it is not possible to conduct a study showing that if you eat non organic foods you will get cancer or develop Alzheimers and if you eat organic you won't. It is all about minimizing the risk. Your grocery store carrot is still better chopped up and given to your children in their lunch box than giving them a chocolate biscuit but a pesticide-free one will be even better.

I find as a general rule of thumb, things eaten in as close to their natural state as possible are usually a healthier, tastier choice. If you have access to organic veg for an affordable price or can grow your own - great. But if you have to run to the shop at the last minute for your carrots - at least you're cooking a dinner with vegetables.

I would like to see Ireland as a country declare itself completely Organic and ban pesticides, fungicides and herbicides as well as antibiotics for animals. I think we are in a unique position to do this and the exporting and tourist potential from this would be huge. Maybe even get us out of debt. A romantic vision - certainly but I'd be more comfortable about living in this grey rainy climate if I knew all my and my children's food was safe and toxin free and I would be more proud to call myself Irish if the image was green and organic.

The Sofa Surfing Handbook

Just in case any of you are considering sofa surfing to save on rent. Here are a list of guidelines from an experienced sofa owner.

1. Target households that are used to sharing their living space; groups of students or shared houses are best. If you must stay with a nuclear family, ingratiate yourself with the kids. If you are staying with a couple, make sure you have the female of the house on your side whatever sex you are.

2. Never stay on the same sofa for more than three nights at a time. If you follow the rest of these rules, the sofa owners will miss you when you are not there and be pleased to see you next time you arrive. Always have two or three sofas on the go at one time. Keep one as an emergency back up.

3. Don’t arrive with one arm longer than the other. Bring food/ alcohol/recreational drugs that householders are partial to.

4. Arrive late in the evening but not after bedtime. Do not knock on a door if house is in darkness. If you feel you should phone before arriving, ask if anything is needed in the shop as you are on your way over to collect something you left there. It helps if you have actually left a notebook of important looking but not private information or some other personal but not too personal object there when you previously slept there.

5. Don’t ask can you stay – just don’t leave until they say they are going to bed – most people will offer and then think it's their idea. Never try and get into anybody’s bed unless you are invited. Sex makes the whole thing more complicated. It's best if you are celibate.

6. Make a lot of tea without being asked. Appear from the kitchen bearing toasted cheese, hot buttered brack or bowls of popcorn all round at appropriate moments. Make sure kitchen is left cleaner than it was when you went in.

7. Never use the last of the milk, toilet roll, teabags, sugar or bread. If you notice supplies running low replace them. Be ready to run to the shop/ liquor store/ chipper at any given moment.

8. Be a good listener and shoulder to cry on. Be prepared to forego sleep to sit up all night talking.

9. Be lighthearted and entertaining. Never complain about your situation. You want them to want you around. Think ‘ray of sunshine’ not ‘black cloud’.

10. Don’t talk about other sofas you have previously slept on. Refer to ‘flats you were looking at’ on occasion. Always imply you could go ‘home’ or even better you ‘should go home’ but you’ve stayed because of their delightful company. It is still important to say thank you.

11. Keep your baggage to an absolute minimum. You want to be as compact as possible. Do not litter the place with clothes. If you are supplied with a duvet, fold it and stash it behind sofa or somewhere out of the way. The idea is to make it look like you were never there.

12. If something is broken and you can fix it - do. Listen carefully for clues as to anything about the house that annoys your hostess. Do anything you can about it but remember the surprise element. You want her to be pleased you solved the problem not disappointed that you couldn’t.

13. Remember you have no TV privileges. Even if this means sitting through hours of soap operas or war movies. If there is something you really want to watch, casually mention that it’s on when someone is flicking channels.

14. Know when to hide out in bathroom. For example, when landlord, parents or exes arrive.

15. Try to look attractive and cute on the sofa. Personal hygiene must be of a high standard. No smelly socks on the coffee table or dirty underwear under the couch.

16. Try to be up and if possible have left before anyone gets up to go to work. If you must stay, have coffee made and stay out of the way (Not in the bathroom). DO NOT SPEAK IN THE MORNING UNLESS YOU ARE SPOKEN TO. Before they get up note where their keys, phone and wallet are and be ready to hand them to them just as they begin to look for them.

17. If you drive, offer lifts to work etc. Do not do this as an open offer but just at the last minute when they are almost late and you can get them there on time. This works best if you drive a motorbike and make sure you carry a spare helmet.

18. Do not still be asleep on the sofa when someone arrives home from work. If you are still in the house make sure it is clean and tidy. Have dinner ready if possible.

19. If you are invited to any parties, pubs or clubs by a third party, extend invite to the householders. You do not want to make them feel that they are subsidising your social life while they have none. If you are out and no sofa is presenting itself, call and invite target sofa owner out. If they refuse but sound pleased to hear from you offer to call up for ‘a visit’ later. Otherwise use emergency back up sofa.

20. Leave BEFORE you have outstayed your welcome. If you hear any muttering and whispering behind closed doors or receive any jibes or black looks, you have outstayed your welcome and so should leave immediately and graciously under the pretext that there is something you forgot you have to do. Retire to emergency back up sofa. Do not return to this house for at least a month then visit bearing usual gifts and leave once at a decent hour before returning and expecting to stay the night.

Fuel tank falling from shuttle Endeavour 23.22GMT above Dublin

Jane's Addiction at Oxegen 09

My husband, lucky man that he is, won two camping tickets to the Oxegen festival. Since seeing the line-up I was desperate to go but we couldn't figure out what to do with our almost two year old breastfed toddler. It was 'advised' not to bring under fives and he would have needed his own ticket anyway. Granny was happy to take four year old who is quite comfortable spending a few nights with her away from me but baby has never been apart from me for more than a few hours. Weaning on the spot seemed a bit unfair. I would have liked to be the type of wife that said, 'You go, enjoy yourself take a friend. I just have to accept I can't go.' but unfortunately as the day approached and I found myself crying into my coffee and switching off the radio at any mention of it I realised I could not be that cool.

After much deliberation, soul searching, arguing and worrying, we compromised. He would go down Saturday and I would follow on Sunday. I managed to sell my weekend ticket on http://www.toutless.com and I bought myself a day ticket. Four year old stayed with granny from Friday so I was only alone with two year old Saturday night. On Sunday I drove him down to Granny, armed her with bananas, DVDs and chocolate and left.

I got there in time to catch The Specials first gig in 26 years. It was great although they have certainly aged. The skies opened. My husband had nabbed me a plastic poncho which did the trick relatively well as long as I kept dancing to keep warm. We spent some time in the Bacardi tent where the pumping music reminded me of the bar in Schipol airport, ate some falafel and then ventured over to the O2 stage where Jane's Addiction were about to come on. Immediately the average age of the crowd increased by about ten years. Razorlight were on at the other stage. I had always liked Jane's but they put on a great show. In fact it was the sexiest gig I had been to in years. We danced right the way through.

We caught the opening ten minutes of The Killers who sounded great but we had to leave for our last chance ever to see Nine Inch Nails. The last time I saw them live was at Woodstock '94 and I have to say the set hadn't changed very much. It was great to rock to the old favourites though. We got home with only a short delay in park n ride at about 3am to discover that both children had been fast asleep since 11.30, there had been no crying or any trouble at all. In fact the little one didn't wake for milk until about 8.30 next morning.

We paid though. Despite hardly drinking at all, every muscle in my body ached next day. I couldn't keep my eyes open and I'm still only half way through the muddy laundry. Would I do it again? As soon as I kick this hangover.

The pirate ship cake.

This is the finished product. After covering in chocolate. Masts were constructed from wafer tubes on barbecue skewers. Crows nests were ice cream cones cut across middle and stuffed with marshmallow to keep them on top of barbecue skewer. Sails and flags made from eating paper (large money was all I could find but the maps on them were an added feature to my little treasure hunter) threaded on to sticks between the wafer tubes and rigging from candy necklaces hung on after. There was some discussion as to the historical accuracy of the jammie dodger port holes but we went with them. Finally we filled it with wine gum gems and chocolate money. The pirate candles were bought from www.littlestarparties.ie

How to construct a pirate ship cake.

This was the base of our pirate ship. It was constructed from two large, four mini and two medium sized shop bought swiss rolls. The prow was a madeira sponge cut diagonally from corner to corner and sandwiched with jam and cream. The large swiss rolls at the bottom are squashed to provide a base.

Rohan on an elephant.