Dropping the balls.

It's amazing the effect your baby being sick has on the rest of your life. It does seem unfair that when Mama is sick she has to carry on but her life has to stop if baby gets sick. Thankfully it was just a tummy bug that afflicted us this week. Typically on the night I had to attend a three hour course. Oh the guilt of leaving the little pale sad face - and that was just my husband taking over nurse duty after a 10 hour workday. Anyway, they survived without too much upset. However, during the couple of days he was sick, I managed to lose a considerable sum of cash through complete scatterbrainiocity, draw a complete blank on my pin for my laser card while standing at a checkout with a basket full of groceries and stare for an hour at my bank account without being able to figure out what bills I needed to cover this week. In short, it was like the financial filing cabinet in my brain was replaced by a flashing red beacon saying, 'Your baby is sick look after him.' over and over again.

I was upset when I lost the money. Then in a short space of time I heard two bits of bad news that really put things into perspective. One friend of mine, who has a tiny baby and a young son has just found out she is seriously ill requiring surgery and who knows what other invasive treatments and another lady's husband was in a car accident with her three children in the car. He died and two of her children are still critical. The youngest was saved by the car seat. Never drive without one. So I lost some money - big deal. I can't even imagine how scary it must be to be in either of those poor women's positions. Its unfortunate that it takes someone else's suffering to remind people of how lucky they are.

I understand your problem, Ma'am

Having had quite a few customer service experiences over the last few weeks, I came to wonder why is it that sometimes I get off the phone and feel like throwing it against a wall and other times feel quite satisfied that my problem hasn't been sorted out. These are my theories about what makes me mad.

1. If I am on hold for more than two minutes before my call is answered. Already the tension is building.
2. If I have to listen to more than 4 options before I make a choice I have forgotten the first two before I hear the fifth. I am now feeling flustered as well as tense.
   
3. If, after I choose an option, I am then given another list to choose from I am starting to yearn for a human voice. At this stage I need to be listened to. If I get someone soon I may not actually explode.
4. If, after several menus and options and choices, I am then told 'I hope this information has been helpful. Thank you for your call.' and hung up on by a non-human I haven't even yet been rude to, steam starts to come from my ears.
5. I will also begin to fume even if I haven't been hung up on if I am put on hold for more than two minutes after the repeated menu, option, choice torture.

So here I am tense and fuming and I haven't even explained my problem yet. I have not spoken to a human being but I am ready to bite the head off the poor underpaid unfortunate in whatever country they may be in who is destined to eventually answer my call.

TIP: Regardless of my problem, if any of the above happens to what I consider an unreasonable extent. I hang up, redial and follow the options for sales. Almost guaranteed to at least be nicer to you than customer service and chances are they can put you straight through to whoever you need to deal with.

The rest of the irritation occurs after I actually get through to a customer service agent. These are my top 5 gripes.

1. If the agent is insincere. Why say, 'I understand your problem, ma'am.' when it is quite clear that there is absolutely nothing you are prepared to do about it. May as well say 'Tough cheese, you should have read the small print.'
   
2. If the agent doesn't appear to be trying to help. I don't want someone typing my 8 digit account code into a computer (why are their systems always so slow too?) and then getting me to verify (all) my details just to have information I already know repeated to me. I know what that bill says, I have it in my hand, that's where I got my 8 digit number. It is because of this bill that I am ringing.
3. If the agent says that they will call back in a few minutes. I expect them to call back in a few minutes. In half an hour I have to drive. I have spent enough time on this call. I have a life. I do not want to be hanging around waiting for a call that may never come like a lovesick teenager. Furthermore, I picked now to make this call after carefully selecting entertainment for my children which will have will only keep them occupied for another ten minutes. During the ads I will be expected to get drinks/food/build a fire station out of lego. I will not be available to take calls indefinitely.
4. If I come up with three or more possible ways the agent can help solve my problem, stop finding reasons not to. Work with me. I am a customer, I am tired, frustrated and yet still trying to do your job for you. Listen to me, I am telling you ways to make me happy, at least meet me half way. I waited a long time to speak to a human being. have some humanity.
5. Do NOT say: 'Is there anything else I can help you with?' if you have not done anything to make me feel better or solve my initial problem. Why would I ask you even if I did have another problem? You obviously have no say in how these things are run. You do not see tings on a case by case basis. Help me with my reason for calling. If you can't - apologize and get lost.

I did have one customer service experience lately which made me see that it really is how they speak to me that effects my mood. This guy answered the phone on third ring with no menus or options. He obviously knew nothing about the item I had left in to be repaired. I gave him my receipt number. He got me to describe the person I left it with as I had no signature and he said he would call back in a few minutes. He called back in 4 minutes. My repair had obviously not even been started and had I not rung may never have been seen again. He apologized, blaming no one and told me he'd have it next week. This did not make me angry. I felt for his embarrassment. I did not demand a discount. I appreciated his honesty and I cut him some slack. I was disappointed but not angry. I got off the phone happy and got on with my life.

In my personal experience the absolute worst customer service offenders are always communications companies. You would think they should be able to communicate.

Child friendly venues for sunny days.

A rare sunny day here in Dublin and I'm trying to think of something to do with the kids. I would like to take them somewhere outdoors, educational and inexpensive but I'm not really in the humour of a playground or a park. If I was alone I would head into the city to bathe in the atmosphere of some of the great free gigs taking place in record stores but the reality of negotiating the city on a Saturday with two toddlers only to get to a destination that would almost definitely be proclaimed as 'too noisy' for my darlings' sensitive ears does not make that particularly appealing. I need groceries and the house is untidy but neither of those chores are exactly springing me into action. Perhaps I'll try and find a farm that sells organic vegetables. That could be fun and at get at least half of a chore done. I heard there's one relatively close by. I guess we can spend half the time on a mystery tour looking for it and the other half exploring it if we find it. Never know what else we might find on our travels. Should be nearly bedtime by the time we get back.

One of the other things bothering me this week is summer festivals. I love them. Some of the line ups are fantastic this year. Unfortunately, Oxegen is child free and I can't leave my breastfeeding toddler for that long so I was delighted to see line up at child friendly Electric Picnic wasn't half bad either. I was all set to buy a family ticket when I saw the price. E480!!! We could get a week in the sun for that. Currently researching some cheaper options. I'd like to take them for the atmosphere but I can'tjustify spending that amount of money for what very well turn out to be a complete wash out and I may not even get to see the performances if the kids don't like the crowds.

So I'm done with moaning now and off to do something less boring than sitting in front of a computer instead. Perhaps the Vitamin D will inspire me. Let you know if we find the farm.

Leaving them to it.

There are not many moments in the day when the kids are both happily distracted by their toys to the extent I feel I can sneak into the kitchen and perhaps wash dishes or prepare dinner, alone. I grab these when I can. Lately, though, I've noticed an unfortunate pattern where two minutes after I've left the room I either hear shouts of 'Ow ow ow' from the little one or 'He wants the car I'm driving from the elder.' The cries of pain from the little one rarely have anything to do with any injury that has been inflicted on him. He simply uses this expression as a cry of what he sees as injustice and perhaps because he thinks it will get me to get his brother to give him what he wants.

So what's the best course of action? I spent a long time teaching bigger brother to try trading another car with little brother. This no longer cuts it. Little one will simply take offered car and fling it across the room. He still wants the same one his older brother wants. The easiest thing for me to do is try to reason with the more reasonable one. "Please, let him have the car for a little while, then you can take a turn." If he goes for it, which he rarely does, it buys me back my time out although it makes me feel like I've been unfair and fear I'm breeding resentment. Alternatively, I could take the car away and tell them to sort out who gets the car between them and then come back to me and tell me what they've decided. This might work better in a few years but at the moment the little one wants what he wants right now with no room for discussion and it is unfair on the elder one who was happily playing with his car until his little brother demanded he give it up. I've tried explaining to elder one. 'Your little brother just wants what you have because he thinks you're cool and wants to be just like you. If you play with a different car for a while he'll want that one and you can get the old one back.' Unfortunately, at nearly 4, the elder one is still a baby too and has only just learned the concept of sharing and hasn't quite made up his mind about it yet.

Yesterday, I chose a course of inaction. I stayed in the kitchen and listened to make sure no one was being hurt. The first time the bigger one got to keep the car. The little one cried and when I didn't come, came into the kitchen and pretended to fall on the ground where he continued to cry until I picked him up, and he was distracted by the water in the sink. The only dishes that got washed after that were the wooden spoon and plastic bowls I gave him to play with. The second similar incident had a different outcome. This time little one won the prize car. I heard my eldest son telling him, 'You can have it, I'm going to play with this cooler one'.... and then nothing but car driving sounds. I asked my elder one later about it and he said. 'I tricked him. I didn't really want the one I said I wanted and it hurts my ears when he cries. Wasn't that good?'

When your body says, 'Stop!'

Ironically, when my last post was about breastfeeding and how it benefits my family, I experienced a severe downside later on that evening. My symptoms went from being a slightly tender right breast to a very sore, hard and hot breast along with fever, shivering and downright feeling awful in about twenty minutes. My careplan for mastitis: Rest, apply heat and nurse on affected breast. See: http://www.llli.org/FAQ/mastitis.htm

I went to bed at 8pm with a microwaveable teddy bear. My husband brought baby to me when he woke and I nursed him as usual. The next morning with all flu like symptoms gone, I concentrated on feeding him on tender side and gently massaging the lump while he fed. Miraculously, less than 24 hours after initial symptoms I was completely cured with absolutely no medication.

It is truly amazing how the human body can tell you when it has had enough and needs to rest. Its fabulous how pretty much sleep is all it needs to cure it. With two small kids I rarely get more than 5 or 6 hours sleep a night and that is usually broken. I tend to try and do all the things I can't do while they are awake after they go to bed as well as watch t.v. and chill out and talk to my husband. In short I don't go to bed early enough. After a few months of this no wonder my body will shut down and make me sleep. I felt unbelievably refreshed after an almost straight 10 hours sleep. I woke up good humoured. I looked after, and was patient with, four kids aged 4 and underf or most of the day. I even got a little housework done as well as preparing a decent meal. In fact I feel like I don't need to sleep like that again for the next six months. So, I have another 500 things I need to do today - better make a start so I can get to bed by midnight - ish. Old habits die hard.

Extreme breastfeeding?

I never realized this is what I do until I saw 'that documentary'. I just never had the willpower to stop. My eldest is almost 4 and still breastfeeds at nighttime. My youngest is 18 months. I don't know how I'd manage without it. All fall down? 'Milka' makes it better. Need some quiet to be on the phone. Have some 'milka'. Hey the little one is on right now. I don't even notice. In fact breastfeeding is such a part of my life I don't even really wake up. I have never been able to say how many times my youngest nurses during the night. Therefore, I conclude - he sleeps through the night. Although he miraculously manages to change from one side of me to other quite regularly.

I have broached the subject of weaning with my 3 year old. He doesn't want a 'weaning party' or even a 'weaning present'. He'd rather have me lie beside him while he nurses to sleep for twenty minutes every night. I think this is fabulous. He actually knows people are more important than things. He has spent two consecutive nights away from me perfectly happily and knows he doesn't actually 'need' milka to get to sleep. But a lot of adults don't actually 'need' to read a book or have hot chocolate before they sleep but they prefer it so why not?

I nursed through pregnancy fully expecting him to wean himself but he didn't. I used to nurse them together until they got too big for me to be comfortable with both on top of me at once. When I felt overwhelmed I introduced limits that made everyone happy. It certainly suits my husband who has never been woken for a night feed. To me, it seems perfectly natural to nurse my babies until they're ready to stop. It makes life easier for me and keeps them healthy and happy. I can't understand why so many people think it's so odd.

Computer orphans

I turned around from the computer yesterday to find my 18 month old eating cream cheese from the container with a spoon. I guess it could have been worse but it wasn't easy to clean up and he wasn't too happy when I took it away. Guilt forced me to take them to the playground. This morning I'm not sure how long my 3 year old had been speaking to me before he shouted, "Mama - can you hear me?" It turned out he was asking me to switch on Mario Kart on the Wii for him. I replied with, "Later on." Why? Because I felt that he could be better occupied by his more educational toys. One rule for Mother Goose...

He got one over on me with the whole Mario Kart thing when he used a principle I had taught him against me. "You said if I wanted to get good at something I should practice every day and I want to be good at this." I was a bit flummoxed for a while until I justified it with the fact it is more active than passive TV watching, he is improving so reaffirming the concept of practice equals results, and I guess he is learning to steer and brake to some extent. So he is allowed an hour a day. I explained that it wasn't good to play video games for too long as it wasn't using enough energy and it's not great for eyesight. I don't know if that's completely true but he accepted it no problem and for now we're both happy.

The little one unfortunately has been born into a world with recordable, rewindable TV and will bang his hands on the arm of the chair to get me to fast forward past the beginning of the Night Garden to the bit with the Pinky Bonk that he likes. He also brings me the remote control and demands I turn on a programme for him. We spent one day not turning it on at all and although he was distractable I was completely exhausted by the end of the day and got absolutely nothing else done. Not quite sure what to do about that one yet. My eldest barely watched any TV at that age let alone discerned not only between programmes but parts of programmes. I guess we'll figure it out. I just wish the weather would improve so I could throw them out into the garden for longer while I stare at a screen.

Things I've changed to be Greener.

1. Switched to Airtricity - all our electricity is now generated by wind.
2. Recycling - we've got our regular bin down to once a month and its usually not full.
3. Started using a Mooncup - no dirty menstrual products to dispose of.
4. Use solar powered battery charger - kids toys eat batteries.
5. Using fast wash facility on washing machine - works just fine: less water, less power.
6. Hang out washing whenever its not raining.
   
7. Bring reusable shopping bags to grocery store.
8. Breastfeeding - no formula packaging or chemicals -not the only reason I do it though.
9. Bath the kids together - less water.
10. Turn off lights and unplug appliances. We have timer plugs on t.v. and radio so they are off completely when not in use.

My guilty secret is I never found a cloth nappy that suited my kids and me so I still use disposables. Our rented house is also oil burning. I would love a completely sustainable house. I'm pretty sure my husband could build one too. Unfortunately, the universe so far has not been forthcoming with a couple of hundred K. I'll keep asking though. Its been fairly generous with cars!

Slowcooking and Easter chicks.

This morning I answered the interminable question 'What's for dinner?' by digging out all the non rotten vegetables from the bottom of the fridge, peeling them, roughly chopping them and dumping them in the slow cooker with some defrosted lean sliced beef. I poured over a can of Guinness, a lump of frozen beef stock, a glug of red wine and some random herbs and turned on. Prep time 10 minutes. Cooking time about 6 hours. Smells good so far - I'll let you know. Its beef and guinness stew if my husband asks.

My eldest arrived home from playschool bearing a painted yellow chicken in a nest and a basket of chocolate eggs. Oh no - the Easter holidays. There goes my three hours in the morning. On the plus side though it appears to be summer today in Dublin. Sand pit occupied them for about an hour.

How to Make an Easter Basket:
Cut off top of plastic bottle, stick paper squares all over to cover. Thread thick pipecleaner through two holes on opposite sides. Fill with tissue paper and small chocolate eggs. Result a very proud 3 year old and a very chocolaty 1 year old.

The Quest for a Muse

So after reading Tim Ferriss' The 4-Hour Work Week in one day using his 'read 200% faster in 10 minutes' technique I was left in a bit of a quandry. It all sounds good to me. I know that kind of lifestyle is possible. I've lived it. In Qatar, I had access to all the cocktails, speed boats and sunshine laden pools anyone can dream of. I got bored after 3 years and came home. I would like to take my children round the world and I want to build an eco-house somewhere to live in. Hey I've already got the epitome of washing machines to put in it. My beloved, unfortunately, is not quite willing to give up the first job he's had in 10 years until I've managed to actually put some money in the bank. As far as he's concerned I've moved the goal posts - again. So I need a product. What have I got? Information - tons of it. I have a semi-photographic memory and 30 years reading experience along with quite an eclectic set of life experiences, itchy feet, a compulsion to do everything right and two kids whose care I don't want to outsource. So here goes, my first attempts at making money with minimal effort. Lets see if anyone's interested...